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Alien vs Predator requim rant.

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Timmy the ultramorph

MemberChestbursterJun-22-2017 8:36 PM

 Hi guys. i have A friend who loves the avp movies and likes avp 2 even more. i nead some help putting up a 10 to 12 page rant at him about how avp and especially avp2 sucks in every way. if you have something that you really hate about the afp movies, pleese put it in the comments so i can use it in my rant. thanks

food ain't that bad! - Parker

16 Replies

Svanya

AdminPraetorianJun-22-2017 10:55 PM

It's one of the most cringeworthy movies ever made. Seriously it's so horrible I can't even put it into words, godspeed OP.  

Im Durp

MemberFacehuggerJun-22-2017 11:23 PM

The first one is probably just as good as half the other alien movies.

 

Second one is absolute trash though.

joylitt

MemberNeomorphJun-23-2017 12:57 AM

The first AVP is better than Covenant for sure. However Requiem is something I have never been able to finish, and I have no idea why anybody would like it. What I hate the most about it is all the police procedural tropes, it's like they used the script for a really bad episode from a TV show and they just tossed the aliens in it.

BigDave

MemberDeaconJun-23-2017 6:00 AM

No Comment lol

R.I.P Sox  01/01/2006 - 11/10/2017

I Meme Everything

MemberPraetorianJun-23-2017 6:23 AM

The Xenomorphs look terrible since the actors in the costumes are too short.

 

The human characters are not developed.

"Part of the journey is the end..."

Capt Torgo

MemberFacehuggerJun-23-2017 3:49 PM

I will barge in here with my opinion, lol. Requiem is not a bad film, lower budget yes but at least it tells a functional story with humanoids who are not complete idiots like Ridley's recent mess. Covenant is so bad at telling a story and the characters are so pretentiously dumb that Requiem is raised to a higher state in the franchise.

Timmy the ultramorph

MemberChestbursterJun-23-2017 4:35 PM

my biggest problems with the first avp movie are that 

1: the timeline makes no sense. the fact that alien are actually discovered by 2004 and the weyland corperation is already active makes no sense. also its the weyland corperation so why wouldent they try to collect the orginisum and that weyland dies in 2004 so there is no way he would be part of the prometheous movies.

2: THE PREDATORS FREAKING TEEM UP WITH THE HUMANS!!!!!!!!!!!

3: THE PREDATORS ARE NOT COMPLETLY DEMOLISHED BY THE ALIENS!!!!  they are stronger, smarter, faster, and more abundant than the predator. plus they have acid blood and the predators invisibility wouldent even effect them cuz xenomorphs dont have eyes.

But my absulute biggest problem with the first avp movie is that THE MAIN CHARECTER ACTUALLY USES A XENOMORPH HEAD AS A SHEILD!!!!!! that is essentially the same as if someone uses a shield that is a giant water baloon filled with highly concentrated acid. the first time that was damaged at all it would spray acid all over the person using it killing them instantly. this may seem trivial but it infuriated me the whle time i was watching it. beside that point, it is really anoying how everyone just listens to that spanish guy even though his therorys have no evedince to back them up. for example, as soon as they find a pyrimid in antarctica that has culturall similaritys between egyption and aztec, he immetiatly comes to the conclusion that this is the first pyrimid ever built and that civilization started in antarctica. AND EVEYONE BELIVES HIM

if i were to talk about avp2, it would take hours so I will talk about that later.

food ain't that bad! - Parker

Timmy the ultramorph

MemberChestbursterJun-23-2017 4:38 PM

for starters, you cant see a single thing in the movie because the lighting is so dark. also, the predalien is born with dreadlocks even though the xenomorphs dna reflex dosnt applie for hair or else the dog xenomorph would be furry, and the one that comes out of kane would have his hairstyle.

food ain't that bad! - Parker

Blackwinter-witch

MemberPraetorianJun-23-2017 4:38 PM

I have to admit, I did like the scene in the rain with aliens picking off troops, that was a classic scare-thriller kind of scene.

I did like some other specific bits and pieces of AVP and Requiem, but aside from cherry-picking useful (to me) visual pieces here and there that tend to kick-start inspiration and story ideas/development angles both movies are pretty awful.

Covenant, haven't seen it yet as myself and my family have decided to wait until it comes on On-Demand, then we can at least be disappointed with it in the comfort of our own home with pizza and wine in the company of our swarm of cats. :)

IN SPACE THERE IS NO WARNING

 

 

 

joylitt

MemberNeomorphJun-23-2017 5:00 PM

Timmy the ultramorph "That spanish guy" was italian haha

joylitt

MemberNeomorphJun-23-2017 5:08 PM

Blackwinter-witch no other choice now as the movie is just playing in very few theaters already. It's funny, but the other day I was talking with my brother over the phone, and when I was telling him about Covenant I noticed I had almost forgot watching it in the movie theater. It seems my memory started to block the experience of watching it on the big screen.

TheXenoneoprotomorph

MemberFacehuggerJun-23-2017 9:23 PM

How about letting him enjoy it man, I like em myself gee

LVBank

MemberOvomorphJun-23-2017 10:52 PM

Holy crap I can't even begin from the brief explanations to the actors who just suck, besides the guy from Train spotting -  and hello both of these are supposedly planet earth? What the F .     And the whole temple scene with the predators fighting off the aliens so apparently all of the archaeologists in the world didn't figure that out. Oh yeah hey if you take the aliens  skull and put acid on it it's a shield… Amazing!    Both of the movies are so shallow it hurts. Oh the guy really wants a cute girl to like him but it's not working so…  Aliens! I feel dumber for even commenting.   Oh well 

Ranting Xeno

MemberFacehuggerJun-24-2017 2:48 PM

AvPR is a pile of shite. Not wasting words on what makes it so. I've already wasted too much time on this. RX out...

dk

MemberTrilobiteJun-24-2017 2:56 PM

I actually like AVP for what it is. I thought we all had a silent understanding AVPR would never be mentioned again, but whatever. If your friend likes AVPR better, I am honestly at a loss of words. AVPR not only lowered the bar, people had to dig a six foot trench in which to place the bar.

Timmy the ultramorph

MemberChestbursterJun-27-2017 6:35 PM

i really dont understand him.

food ain't that bad! - Parker

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