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Den of geek not impressed 2/5

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MemberNeomorphMay-06-2017 9:48 PM

"Alien: Covenant is the lazy franchise redo one imagines the studio thinks audiences craved the last time around, but I doubt anyone wanted something this boring."

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MemberTrilobiteMay-06-2017 9:53 PM

and I thought Variety was smug.


MemberFacehuggerMay-06-2017 10:29 PM

Considering that they gave four stars to that atrocious "Beauty and the Beast" live-action flick, I'll take their review with a grain of salt...


MemberTrilobiteMay-06-2017 10:31 PM

It's a den of geeks- probably R2D2 fanboys anyway.


MemberPraetorianMay-06-2017 10:50 PM

denofgeek...yeah, they might go by the name of 'geek' to be trendy and such, but overall, their brains, or what passes for such, are lodged in the lower colons.






MemberFacehuggerMay-07-2017 1:06 AM

I don't take any notice of film critics at all, they say a films bad which turns out good and vice versa. BWW exactly how I am with critics lol! golden!


MemberFacehuggerMay-07-2017 2:11 AM

Or they might be spot on :p . And yes hard to tell critic reviews can be way off...But it is looking like the trend and I can imagine they misread critics last time round...people wanted xenos with idiots dieing? I'm pretty sure people want the original alien film feel with original new ideas. Have intelligent characters doing clever things with some mistakes of course with powerful technology and still getting destroyed by aliens etc....carry on the why and yes have the Gore and monsters and yucky stuff. But no Friday the 13th please...alien was so much more intelligent.

 "It's almost as if they are making it up as they go along" :D


MemberFacehuggerMay-07-2017 4:53 AM

DJ you nailed it. Everyone wants to see the details. Intelligent and intriguing scifi. David experimenting.. etc.

I was remembering the early leaks from Prometheus. They mentioned a giant human head piloting a space ship. That idea was mind-blowing. Personally I could imagine a giant Gieger-ish head fused with the ship. Granted that was not the case, just the statue, but what happened to all the big ideas?

Covenant very likely sounds like a retread of Prometheus except with an Android present from a previous mission. I know I'll still enjoy it but we all want more.


MemberFacehuggerMay-07-2017 5:15 AM

It looks to me like Den Of Geek have decided to redo their review and is now 3 out of 5.


MemberFacehuggerMay-07-2017 5:57 AM

@drake yes...I think there is a lot of the old alien tricks as well. I'm really hoping not too many as it doesn't make a good film.originality is king. I do hear there some twists though... they are good if done well.

 "It's almost as if they are making it up as they go along" :D


AdminPraetorianMay-07-2017 6:19 AM

"Alien: Covenant is the lazy franchise redo" 



MemberOvomorphMay-07-2017 11:50 AM

What I read before passing out last night depressed me greatly: Covenant goes for the scares but doesn't answer any of the real questions Scott was so intent on making the focus of the prequels. If this is true, it's what I expected. A story that avoids the Deep Questions not only asked in Prometheus, but which of course pertain to events in the first Alien movie if not every one of them.

Maybe it took me till my thirties to face the fact that movie sequels and prequels are practically doomed to skirt around what diehard fans want to see. Covenant's real mission is to make money. Even Mr. Scott has said the studio calls the shots. We're all supposed to colonize theater seats and later DVD aisles and digital stores and sofas. Our purchase may be a brain-burster, or we may "escape with Jonesy," but despite cognitive dissonance we'll watch the movie over and over. "We" being the millions of fans guaranteed to reel in some profit. I believe Scott really wanted to do something incredible to lead up to his 1979 masterpiece. (It's what I choose to believe.) But he's not the head honcho. At the moment he seems like the pimp with a heart of gold who has just shrugged and, feeling as helpless as his girls, put on some seductive clothing and a long blonde wig and headed for the red light district to whistle for customers. Ridley in drag, unable to give us his vision so he goes for full-on shock value. "Hey mate! Fancy a nosh, a wee bit'a real 'Hollywood head'? Wot's 'at? Same to you, bloke! Yer Mu/th/a!!!"


Blood and gore turns me off. It made AVP: Requiem gross as well as preposterous. It may scare in the first scene, but by the last, you're desensitized (and distracted from the story).

I don't care about Oram's faith. I cared about Shaw's. Noomi Rapace must feel like Sir Ridley got up out of Directorial Cryo-Sleep after five years and she knew she wasn't intended to get a friendly Juggernaut visit. Imagine her telling an 8-foot-tall Director-Engineer pressure-suit Ridley, "I deserve to know! What did I do wrong? Why do you hate me?!?!"

In some ancient tongue unknown to man, the bald, pale Space Camera Jockey growls, "Cool yer jets, little missy. I'm late on getting in me Director's Chair an' flyin' about with that Super Camera to film a different lass beleaguered by the mad android and the no-eyed nasties. My kind is godlike and mysterious and won't give answers. Now off with ye!"

And James "Dallas" Cameron finds the fossilized Covenant Film Jockey in the Derelict franchise, roughly six years later.

He shakes his head. Something doesn't feel right. This is so wrong, he muses.

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