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Dave 8 The Beginning : A working copy / rough draft

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OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:01 AM...rewrite in progress.
13 Responses to Dave 8 The Beginning : A working copy / rough draft


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:19 AMVery good. :)
Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:39 AMStart with "Can he hear me?". The stuff before it feels like a cheesy exposition which if you want to remain true to how Prometheus is (ambiguous, and I don't mean that in a bad way) then you will not treat the audience like they are so stupid they need Weyland to say "I need a son who won't disobey me ever!). Because that's part of the mystery, which you are revealing to soon which is the question: Is Weyland making David without his own mind? Just my arrogant 2 cents. I've never written anything outside of a writing class or letter to the editor.


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:46 AMAnother thing, Weyland having a long time friend? I don't see Weyland having any pals, especially not a theoretical scientist. I see Weyland as a manipulator, maybe schmoozing good talent but being best buds... Maybe pretending to be.


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:47 AM.


TrilobiteMember9516 XPSep-02-2012 6:12 AMsome advice for you Patch, and others serious thinking of pursuing writing... Change your tense to past-tense - had, did, was, eyed etc. - its easier to read and is the most common tense used by authors. Determine your perspective - first or third - first is best used by a character remembering events, whereas third is best used as the voice of an "invisible narrator". After someone speaks, change paragraph - the rule is one persons lines per paragraph. Use punctuation marks - ? for a question, ! for making an exclamation. Remember the emotions and motives of you characters - he said ponderingly, she asked forcefully etc. Describe - remember to describe everything, your characters, locations etc. use common familar images that your readers can associate with. You'd be surprised how often even seasoned authors forget these rules.

David 1

OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 9:30 AMPatch: Don't know what happened, but here is the only true rule that any cretive mind follows: "Do it as you feel like doing it, as it seems right to you, as it feels right to be done" even more so when it comes to writing.
[b]Ask nothing from no one. Demand nothing from no one. Expect nothing from no one.[/b]


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 10:41 AM@patch. I'm interested in what you come up with, don't give up. It's easy for me to see stuff I don't think works because I didn't write it. Besides, I like your Avatar/name humor.


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 12:34 PMPatch, what the hell? Why are you bailing? You 'could' listen to all the advice in the world, but will it make you happy? Personally, I like to TAKE THE PISS as a writer and PLAY WITH THE MIND of the reader. For example, in my 2001 adult-sci-fi novel SZMONHFU (pronounced "je m'en fous") from Eraserhead Press, I purposefully eliminated "traditional dialogue" by using the 'he said that he'd asked...' convention all through it. The reason? To ensure that the reader didn't CHEAT, skimming the dialogue as one can to dash through a book. Another was was to use the derogatory term 'shag' for every insult. Originality, flavour, YOU: that's the most important thing about ANY WRITER'S writing.
2013 sci-fi horror novels 'Custodian' and 'Tandem' available from Amazon, B&N, iTunes etc...

David 1

OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 2:40 PM^^^^ what Free said ^^^^^
[b]Ask nothing from no one. Demand nothing from no one. Expect nothing from no one.[/b]

Xenomorph 54

OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 3:29 PM^^^what david said^^^
Have you heard of phoenix asteroids? They glow in every color of the rainbow...they travel endlessly through space...


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 7:04 PMI love it when I read something interesting and the words blur away and a movie begins in my mind...You achieved that in just a few words...Nice Job! Please...write more. and... ^^^what free, dave and xeno said^^^
ALL generalizations are WRONG!

Major Noob

OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 8:30 PMGlad you're back Patch. KEEP WRITING.


OvomorphMember0 XPSep-02-2012 9:58 PMthanks for the post, still leaves me wanting to hear more!
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